The Power of the Right Question
#3 December 22 / January 23
“What am I not asking you that I should?”
Last Year we were due to fly to Germany 🇩🇪 to visit friends for a long weekend. This was the 3rd time we had attempted this over the preceding 12 months.
Unfortunately, just days before we were due to fly, covid 🤒 intervened and we could not make the flights or easily reschedule.
To say, we were disappointed was an understatement, yet we managed to ask ourselves the 🙋♂️ question - What does this make possible?
As we considered this question, we saw the providence in the situation and in the end we were able to do some work on our kitchen and get our van ready for sale, jobs we were struggling to fit in but were important for our future plans. We also rebooked our flights for April (just a few months later) which in fact proved to be a better time.
We could have easily just wallowed in our disappointment, wasting much time & energy. But the game changer here was asking ourselves the right question, what does this make possible?
Questions are such powerful tools, they help with challenges we face, offering better solutions to solve these problems. They can help increase our capacity and potential and do the same in others, as questions create those ‘aha’ moments which lead to growth. Questions also encourage us to remain in learning mode, rather than judgement mode.
A single question, asked at the right time can be life changing. Yet so often we can hold back asking questions of ourself or using them when interacting with others. Why?
- Self focus - we are so focused on getting our viewpoint across and impressing others, asking questions simply does not come to mind.
- Not valuing our own or others’ development - we don’t view development as important so we don’t ask questions that go deeper.
- Fear - we fear we will ask the wrong question and be viewed as rude or incompetent. Or we fear if we are asked a question, we may need to address something we don’t want to.
As a Coach, the ability to ask the right questions is paramount, it is our secret weapon (well, not so secret now), because well-asked questions create different lenses & perspectives for clients to engage with their situations, leading to enlightenment and ideas on how to move forward.
Here are some quick tips for asking questions…
- When someone is asking you to get involved with something, to gain clarity & insight ask:
Why this?
Why me?
Why now?
- When posing questions to others;
Be Curious
Be Open Ended
Be Engaged
- Have a secondary, follow on question to go deeper, often the first answer is what a person wants you to hear, not actually the core of the issue. For example - What’s on your mind? Follow up - & What Else?
“Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering. ”
I am now starting to look forward to the new year and with this in mind, in my latest video, I suggest 10 questions that will help you plan & succeed in 2023 and every year after.
Planning is all about journeying from one point in life to another and the questions I suggest, will help you to define the purpose of the journey, make you consider how you look after yourself on the journey and provoke your thinking on how to navigate the journey.
So if you are thinking about next year, what you want to do and what you want to achieve, then this video should be of help to you.
I hope you find this helpful and that applying some of these questions helps you to save time, optimise your energy and do what matters most.
Have a great rest of the year, and a restful festive period.
Every Blessing
James.
PS: If you come across someone struggling to look forward, then perhaps provoke their thinking with some of questions in this video & post.
